Doggy style, a popular sexual position, can offer both excitement and intimacy in a relationship. However, for those attempting it for the first time, there are key mistakes that can detract from the experience. In this article, we explore these common pitfalls, providing expert advice and tips to help you and your partner enjoy a fulfilling and pleasurable experience. From communication to positioning, we cover all the essentials for a successful introduction to this intimate position.
Understanding Doggy Style
Before diving into the common mistakes to avoid, it’s crucial to understand what doggy style entails. This position involves one partner on all fours while the other partner kneels or stands behind. It provides deep penetration and allows for a sense of control and dominance, which some find immensely pleasurable. However, without proper preparation and understanding, the experience can fall flat.
According to Dr. Emily Morse, a sex and relationship expert, "Doggy style can be incredibly satisfying due to the depth of penetration and the potential for clitoral stimulation. The key is in communication and comfort." By addressing potential missteps, couples can enhance the experience.
Common Mistakes to Avoid
1. Neglecting Communication
One of the most significant mistakes couples make when trying doggy style for the first time is neglecting communication. Openly discussing preferences, boundaries, and concerns can significantly improve the experience.
Expert Insight: Licensed psychologist Dr. Laura Berman emphasizes the importance of discussing desires and boundaries. "Before engaging in any new sexual practice, talk about what excites you, what you want to try, and what you’re not comfortable with. This open dialogue sets the stage for a healthier and more pleasurable encounter."
Tip: Consider having a conversation about doggy style before attempting it. Discuss any fantasies, concerns, or physical limitations. Agree on a safe word to help both partners feel secure.
2. Skipping Warm-Up
Jumping straight into doggy style without sufficient foreplay can lead to discomfort or a lack of arousal. Warm-up is crucial for both partners to feel physically and emotionally ready.
Research Finding: A study published in the Journal of Sex Research found that adequate foreplay significantly enhances arousal and pleasure during penetrative sex. Taking the time to engage in kissing, touching, and oral sex can elevate the experience.
Tip: Spend time on foreplay to enhance arousal. Focus on each other’s bodies, engage in gentle touches, and communicate what feels good. This approach can lead to greater satisfaction during penetration.
3. Not Finding the Right Angle
The position itself offers versatility, but many couples overlook the importance of adjusting their positions to find the most pleasurable angle. Incorrect angles can lead to discomfort or reduced pleasure.
Expert Insight: Sexual health educator Dr. Megan Stubbs advises, “Adjusting your partner’s position can significantly impact sensation. Experimenting with angles and depth can lead to stronger orgasms and a more enjoyable experience.”
Tip: Encourage your partner to arch their back or lower their chest for different sensations. Explore adjusting your stance or kneeling position to find what feels best for both partners.
4. Forgetting Lubrication
Doggy style can sometimes lead to feelings of friction, especially if you and your partner aren’t adequately aroused. This can result in discomfort or even pain.
Research Finding: The use of lubricant can significantly enhance comfort and pleasure. According to a study in The Journal of Sexual Medicine, water-based lubricants can improve overall sexual satisfaction and comfort.
Tip: Use a water-based or silicone-based lubricant generously to reduce friction and increase pleasure. Reapply as necessary throughout the experience to maintain comfort.
5. Overlooking Physical Comfort
It’s vital to ensure that both partners are physically comfortable during doggy style. Many couples make the mistake of positioning themselves in ways that lead to unnecessary strain or discomfort.
Expert Insight: Sex therapist Dr. Tina Schermer Sellers advises, “Take breaks if needed. It’s essential to focus on comfort to enhance the overall experience. If it doesn’t feel good, adjustments are necessary.”
Tip: Utilize pillows or cushions for support. For the partner on all fours, placing a pillow under the hips can enhance comfort and elevate the pelvis, allowing for better access.
6. Ignoring Clitoral Stimulation
While the doggy style position offers deep penetration, it may not directly stimulate the clitoris, which is crucial for many women to achieve orgasm.
Research Finding: A study published in The Journal of Sex Research indicates that women often require clitoral stimulation to climax, regardless of the sexual position.
Tip: Incorporate clitoral stimulation by using fingers or a vibrator during penetration. This multifaceted approach can significantly enhance pleasure and lead to a more satisfying experience.
7. Moving Too Quickly
In the rush to experience something new, many couples may move too quickly, which can lead to discomfort or even injury. This is especially true for those who are inexperienced in this position.
Expert Insight: “Taking things slow is essential for both comfort and enjoyment,” explains Dr. Jessa Zimmerman, a sex therapist and author. “Rushing can lead to awkwardness and physical strain.”
Tip: Begin with gentle movements at a slow pace. Gradually increase speed and intensity as comfort levels rise. Check in with your partner regularly to ensure they are enjoying the experience.
8. Being Too Loud or Silent
Vocalization during sex can enhance intimacy and communication, but each partner needs to feel comfortable expressing themselves. Silence can lead to misunderstandings about comfort and enjoyment.
Expert Insight: According to Dr. Christine Whelan, a sociologist and expert on relationships, “Communication during sex, whether verbal or non-verbal (like moans), can heighten arousal and connection between partners.”
Tip: Encourage one another to express what feels good and what doesn’t. Encourage moans, whispers, or sounds that indicate pleasure. This can enhance the experience for both parties.
9. Failing to Change Things Up
Sticking to one repetitive motion or tempo can make the experience monotonous. Once a couple becomes more comfortable with doggy style, it’s essential to experiment with variations.
Expert Insight: “Variety can be the spice of life, even when it comes to sex,” says Dr. Ian Kerner, a sex therapist and author. “Changing positions, techniques, and intensity can significantly enhance pleasure and satisfaction.”
Tip: Consider switching between different angles, depths, or even transitioning briefly to other positions. Discuss what feels good and be open to trying new things each time.
10. Disregarding Aftercare
Aftercare, the practice of emotional and physical support following intimacy, is often overlooked in sexual experiences. This can be especially crucial after heightened physical activity.
Expert Insight: Dr. Alexandra Solomon, a psychologist specializing in relationships, emphasizes the importance of aftercare. "Cuddling, discussing the experience, or simply being close can reinforce connection and intimacy."
Tip: Spend time cuddling or discussing what each partner enjoyed after the experience. This reinforces bonding and can enhance the emotional connection between partners.
Conclusion
Trying doggy style for the first time can be an exciting adventure for couples, but avoiding common pitfalls can make all the difference. By emphasizing communication, comfort, and mutual pleasure, both partners can fully enjoy this intimate experience. As with any aspect of a relationship, patience and practice are essential. So take your time, be open to exploration, and most importantly, enjoy the journey together.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)
1. Is doggy style suitable for all couples?
While many couples enjoy this position, personal comfort levels and preferences may vary. It’s essential to communicate openly and feel secure in trying something new.
2. What are some variations of doggy style?
You can experiment with several variations, such as the ‘spooning doggy style’ (where both partners lie on their sides) or ‘standing doggy style’ (where the receiving partner remains standing possibly against a wall).
3. How can I enhance pleasure during doggy style?
Incorporate clitoral stimulation, experiment with different speeds and angles, and utilize lubricant to enhance the experience. Listening to your partner’s feedback can also be invaluable.
4. What is the best way to prepare for doggy style?
Engaging in adequate foreplay and discussing preferences beforehand can significantly improve the experience. Focus on making each other comfortable and aroused.
5. What should I do if I feel uncomfortable while trying doggy style?
It’s vital to communicate discomfort immediately. If something doesn’t feel right, adjust your positioning or take a break. Prioritize your comfort and enjoyment above all.
By covering these essential aspects and avoiding common pitfalls, you can ensure that your experience trying doggy style is pleasurable and fulfilling. Happy exploring!